Monday, December 15, 2008

Monster 1200

This is totally random but so is almost everything I blog about. Just warning you it's one of those blogs.

The other night I had stayed up later thant I intended to and was exhausted. As I usually do, I checked on the kids and before entering my room, I lightly pranced across the floor (can't think of a better word than prance). Surly you other moms have done this too.. there's about three small spots in the hall that creak (please tell me this is normal for a 12 year old house). Creaking wakes up Kaitlyn. So I avoid those spots like the plague. It's actually kind of funny.. I can't point them out to you but I do automatically avoid them when she's sleeping (even in the middle of the night when I'm blind as a bat). Ok, enough of the prancing.

I then headed into my bathroom and closet and took my jewelry off and brushed out my hair. I removed my make up off and applied the so-called magical creams to under my eyes to help out with the dark circles (although really I'm thinking that Kaitlyn sleeping through the night would be better) and on my eyelids to prevent something and another potion to that pesky wrinkle/crease on my forehead (grrrr).

I climbed into bed and as i turned towards Drew, I realized I was still able to still see. I had forgotten to remove my contacts. I sighed and started to depart my warm blissful bed only to have the TV catch my eye.

An infomercial. Crud. See, I'm pretty sure some where along my genetic pool is a special one for Infomercials. I happen to know that my sister is just as fascinated by them. My mom doesn't enjoy television so I'm going to go ahead and blame my dad on this one.

My eyes widened as I soaked in this new product that I knew nothing about.. the Monster 1200: "the world's first deep cleaner AND sanitizer". Our demonstrator was a tan man in khaki pants and a very tight black shirt (with large muscles) and slicked hair. In the back of my mind I questionsed the Mafia's involvment with the Monster 1200. He made promises of a "Clean and Sanitized home". I nodded my head in agreement until my heart was shattered just a tiny bit when I realized it meant I would still need to pick up my children's toys. Darn. And then I decided I was slightly offended at the implication that my house was not sanitary.. hello, I should own stock in Clorox/Lysol wipes!

Yet, I kept watching. The killer of 99.99% of germs and bacteria ALSO easliy removed mold and mildew (ew- don't have any). With just the wipe of a rag, their bathtub became pristine. I wondered how it would handle the greasy dark mechanic handprints that were in my shower.

The spark returned in my eye as I watched with how easy and mess-free it would be to use it around the toilet area.. it was definitley promising. Little boys can be so gross and I have TWO of them!

I watched as it deoderized pet areas. From the looks on people's faces, they must sure have some smelly animals. I was confused as to why they would then keep their smelly dog's bed next to their own. Aha, and then I understood.. With just a few seconds of steaming the animal bed and then their own bed, it instantly perked up their senses! Amazing! It might even be better than my Scentsy warmer!!

And of course, if I was lucky enough to be one of the first *four hundred* callers, they would alter the payment from THREE easy payments of $33.33, to TWO! Lucky for me!

After this point, I made a mental note that I should write to them and offer my suggestion for their next model.. a solution for cheapness. And maybe something about the fact that I HATE to pay for shipping ($15). And to that, I retreated to the bathroom to remove my contacts.


  1. lol - we totally have a creeking area - in fact we are lucky enough to have those creaking areas right in the door way for Jacob's old room (the new Toy room) I have pranced many times before. So glad to report the new bedroom for the boys - no creeking!!
    Isn't this Monster 1200 the same thing as the Shark? uses steam?? Yes they look great, the only draw back that they don't mention - the demo guy does come clean your tub, and toliet.

  2. hmmm I have yet to see that one. Or Travis he would want to see it, he loves them too. He still talks about the "Handy Dandy Sewer" that can go from curtains to silk.

  3. confession here. Saw that infomercial some time this summer. Unlike you I bought it. That is right I have a monster 1200 and I love it.

  4. Wow, that was so fun to read!

  5. what they should improve on the next model is the fact that you have to pick stuff up first. I am totally convinced my house would be spotless if only someone (who? where?) would just pick stuff up for me.

  6. I have creaking floors too. My husband watches the Do it your self show and he learned from there if you take up the carpet and screw the floor down in the areas where it creaks, it will resolve that problem! Just thought I would give you an idea.
    I have 2 boys myself and I knwo what you mean about them being gross in the bathroom. That is one reason I would love to try the Monster 1200!

  7. You have such a great writing style. I lol'd the entire way through.

  8. I am actually watching the infomercial right now!! I too have a love of them. Its weird. I'm actually not a TV fan but I love my infos. I am very tempted to order one but I googled it and found ALOT of bad reviews saying it doesn't work. Beware. I don't know what to think of the Monster now.

  9. did this thing work? I got to you when I was searching to see if it works - there were a lot of negative remarks out there

  10. I too am skeptical of infomercials. It seems which ever one I pick out is the only wrong one in the bunch. I AM THRILLED TO SAY THIS TIME I PICKED THE RIGHT ONE!!! This Monster 1200 is fabulous! I've got my son enjoying steam cleaning the entire house. He is actually having fun with it! Now that's a product worth having!