Friday, January 21, 2011

Advice from Dave Barry.

A few nights ago I decided to pick up Jimmy John's for dinner.  Have you had their sandwiches before?  They're awesome and made so quickly too!  For the two minutes that I was waiting for my order, I was looking at the fun signs they have hanging up.  One of them was a list of things that Dave Barry had learned by the time he 50 years old.  A lot of it was good advice and the rest was just fun to read.

It's been a long day and I'm tired and I think my creativity is stuck someone at the bottom of my sink (which is full of dirty dishes) and so I'm going to just share that list with you.

Dave Barry "16 Things I've Learned"

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."

3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

5. You should not confuse your career with your life.

6. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance. (This one is very important.)

7. Never lick a steak knife.

8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.

9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.

10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age 11.

12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.

13. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to a waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)

14. Your friends love you anyway.

15. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

16. Thought for the day: Men are like fine wine . . . They start out as grapes; and it's up to the women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.

I'm so happy tomorrow is Saturday!  FINALLY!!!   I hope you have a great weekend!


  1. I LOVE Dave Berry. Thanks for the giggles. Travis has had those sandwiches. A guy's brother at Travis' work owns the place (or something like that) see I have a connection...kind of.

  2. Awesome advise! Thank you Dave Berry, and Becky for sharing them :) :) :)

  3. the only one I don't agree with would be number 11. Damn I still want people to fuss over my birthday. Number to is so true. Especially when they are family meetings.